Happy Birthday

A pain searing right to your core.

A loss so great it’s unimaginable.

Reaching and grabbing and praying with your whole body, mind and soul.

Heart bleeding in my chest, stomach aching from emptiness, lungs straining to breathe.

Hanging on to one itsy bit of hope, is all I have.

And then it’s over…

You’re gone.




I’ve never felt so lost, so confused, so blindsided.

I want to scream and punch something till I bleed.

I want to lay down, drift away and not come back…



Slowly I can remember and smile.

The laughter, the stories, the love – it’s still all there.

Close my eyes and let it play in my head, a movie of happiness I can watch anytime.

This silent club that none of you want to belong to,

Won’t ┬ábe understood until you trudge thru the darkness.

Know you can survive, each day you step forward.

The sun starts to shine as you take a deep breath.

My Mom
9/22/1946 – 10/16/2011
For all that you did.
For the person you were.
For the struggles you endured.
And for the life that you gave.