Look at me now

Past Life
Clothed in black and hiding in the shadows, heart beating fast with anticipation of having to walk across the room.  Look down, don’t make eye contact or else you might have to strike up a conversation.

What if I trip?
What if I say something stupid?
Will they see that spot on my face?
My hair is sticking up in the back.
I don’t wear the latest styles.
I’m too short – and on and on and on.

Oh how I envied those people that just didn’t care.  Is she really wearing that shirt with those pants?  Did he comb his hair? Those shoes are so LOUD! You’re going out with no makeup?
Why can’t I be that cool?

Present day
I have these ridiculously sparkly sandals that just make me smile.  Sometimes I paint each of my toenails a different color.  If I wake up late and don’t want to wash my hair, I don’t.  When the music plays, I often can’t stop myself from dancing.  When I fall up the stairs I can’t wait to tell someone about it so we can laugh and laugh.  My wardrobe is filled with all kinds of purples, pinks, blues and amazing colors, not to mention sparkles and all kinds of other fun things.file_000-7

I can’t say that black is my favorite color any longer, although I still own a lot of it.  If I’m wearing it it’s because I feel like it and not because I need it to hide behind it.  Most of my clothes are from Savers resale shop, my attempt at recycling and then I don’t feel guilty when I get tired of them.  Oddly enough, most of my compliments are from something I’ve gotten from there.  I now have a different kind of spot on my left cheek, give me a thumbs up if you see it!  And lastly, if I turn a certain way you will most likely see a sparkle or two in my hair and not the kind you add yourself.
What happened, confidence or maturity?
I’m not sure, but I now know what people mean when they say, “Don’t take yourself so seriously!”  It’s so much more fun to hop outta bed, throw on a hat and laugh as you trip over your feet racing out the door to live your life!   file_000-9





4 thoughts on “Look at me now

  1. What a great post. I think confidence comes with age and wisdom. You are no longer under the control of peer pressure. I wear a lot of fun stuff also and shopping at resale shops is the best!


  2. When we are young we are shielded by innocence, then as we become more aware of children who not so kind we protect ourselves with shyness and over time lose some self-esteem. In this day it is harder for children at school with the threat of online trolling and social media bullying. Then, when we are adult we learn again how to deal with it more effectively. Looking forward to learning and reading more 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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