Oh, the planning involved for the perfect tattoo. What do I want, where should I put it, what does it mean to me and on and on and on. I have so many saved ideas of my next one, but until it’s perfectly decided it will be put on hold.
After we’ve placed that piece of permanent art on our bodies, we’re proud! We want to show it off and are glad to answer questions about what it means. Each one has a meaning, a story to go with it, it’s a symbol or personal statement.
I have 7 tattoos that were all carefully thought out, but two that I had no choice in. A two inch “permanent frown”, as I call it and another two inch “zipper”; both a result of surgery. If they were visible, I would talk about them. As with our favorite tattoos, each scar has a special meaning, a story to go with it, a lesson learned, a sign of healing and survival. Why wouldn’t you want to talk about that?
Was there pain involved? Probably, and maybe still.
Some are worse than others, in places we don’t want to look at. Hideous and embarrassing, I’ve heard it said. But why? You now have yet another marking that makes you totally unique, something you didn’t have before? Isn’t that a good thing?
As we move along in this world we accumulate all kinds of things that mar our insides and outsides. Bumps and bruises, freckles and laugh lines, friends and enemies, broken hearts and unfulfilled promises. We all have the same things, some choose to show all and others try to cover and hide. All signs of an exciting, fun filled, sometimes scary, unpredictable life that we decided to live out to the fullest.
Next time someone is staring at you and you know they want to ask what happened, just realize they want to hear a good one. Tell them, “See this? This was a doosey!” Give them your story or your words of wisdom. See if they have any, I’m sure they do. If you think they are looking at you with pity, they’re probably thinking how strong and brave you must be; a warrior for sure!
When I see someone with any kind of, I’ll call it “life induced markings” on their body, I want to hear the story. How did it happen? How did you survive? Would I be that strong? I have an admiration and sense of awe for them. I see them as those special inspirational people that were put before me to raise my game, to know if they can do it so can I.
Ask any tattoo artist how excited they are when they see some virgin skin walking in or a painter with a blank canvas. You can’t leave it that way for long, who wants to look at a blank page? Fill it up, mark it up, make it something to talk about!
Trying to let the colors shine through
Do you ever feel invisible?
Do you think if you weren’t there nobody would notice?
When I was little, people would ask my mom, “Why is she so quiet, doesn’t she ever talk?” Besides being shy and uncertain of myself, I just didn’t see the problem. I liked to watch and take it all in, process it and come out all knowing. I understood more than most at that age and had life experiences unlike any of my friends, kinda an old soul.
Never wanting to cause anyone a problem or inconvenience, I learned to stay out of the way. Being very independent, introverted and stubborn, made me learn a lot on my own.
I can’t say much of that has changed these days, I just have a different understanding of myself. I know that I don’t verbalize very well. If put on the spot, I’ll either spew out stupidness, agree and be a people pleaser or totally attack the very fiber of your being. All of which I will replay over and over in my head, until I fix it somehow.
People, I need to process!
Let me think for a minute so I can give you an intelligent answer or so I can even figure out how I’m feeling. There is nothing wrong with saying, “Let me get back to you on that.” or “Give me a minute.” I’m definitely a much better writer, grammar and punctuation aside. I can just explain myself and really get my point across, better than a direct conversation.
The ones that know me the best, know that I have plenty to say. They know that there’s not much I miss and they know that I can and will accomplish anything I set my mind to. If I haven’t done it by now, then it’s not a priority on my list.
Accepting and realizing how you are built makes you realize there is nothing wrong with you, we all work differently. Adapt yourself to what you are good at and you will excel and have a happier successful life.
In my head, if you aren’t acknowledged or you feel invisible take it to mean…
You’re not a troublemaker.
You get the job done.
You don’t need to be hand-held.
You’re a peacekeeper.
People like you.
All good qualities!
Clothed in black and hiding in the shadows, heart beating fast with anticipation of having to walk across the room. Look down, don’t make eye contact or else you might have to strike up a conversation.
What if I trip?
What if I say something stupid?
Will they see that spot on my face?
My hair is sticking up in the back.
I don’t wear the latest styles.
I’m too short – and on and on and on.
Oh how I envied those people that just didn’t care. Is she really wearing that shirt with those pants? Did he comb his hair? Those shoes are so LOUD! You’re going out with no makeup?
Why can’t I be that cool?
I have these ridiculously sparkly sandals that just make me smile. Sometimes I paint each of my toenails a different color. If I wake up late and don’t want to wash my hair, I don’t. When the music plays, I often can’t stop myself from dancing. When I fall up the stairs I can’t wait to tell someone about it so we can laugh and laugh. My wardrobe is filled with all kinds of purples, pinks, blues and amazing colors, not to mention sparkles and all kinds of other fun things.
I can’t say that black is my favorite color any longer, although I still own a lot of it. If I’m wearing it it’s because I feel like it and not because I need it to hide behind it. Most of my clothes are from Savers resale shop, my attempt at recycling and then I don’t feel guilty when I get tired of them. Oddly enough, most of my compliments are from something I’ve gotten from there. I now have a different kind of spot on my left cheek, give me a thumbs up if you see it! And lastly, if I turn a certain way you will most likely see a sparkle or two in my hair and not the kind you add yourself.
What happened, confidence or maturity?
I’m not sure, but I now know what people mean when they say, “Don’t take yourself so seriously!” It’s so much more fun to hop outta bed, throw on a hat and laugh as you trip over your feet racing out the door to live your life!