Living my Life

My way

I really should call him…

We have to get together…

I feel guilty for not inviting them over…


Why do I have to call him?

Why do I have to initiate the plans?

I’ve never been invited over!

Why does someone feel the need to actually make you feel guilty for their inability to  take action? When they are in the wrong, why do they turn it around on you? I’m tired of people making you feel this way. The guilt you put on youself for not being able to make everybody happy is exhausting. How can someone else make you feel like such a failure in life because you’re not acting or doing what they want you to do? Is it their goal to tear you down because you’re happy and they aren’t? If you aren’t included, maybe there is a reason.

There are friends and family members that go months and even years before seeing each other and they don’t make each other feel that way. That’s unconditional love or friendship.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you clearly know you are in the right, but they make you doubt yourself? They know what they are doing wrong, or maybe they don’t. The only thing that makes them feel better is making you feel worse. They’ll call you names, give you the silent treatment, shut you out, and make you feel like you have no right to be thinking of yourself or your happiness. “You’re selfish”, they’ll say. You’ll start to believe them and wonder what’s wrong with you.

I’m Selfish? I should be doing more.

Am I selfish? I thought I was doing all I could. I would like to have some time for the things I want, but I guess I should be trying harder to make others happy and trying to fix their lives.

I think I might be selfish. I’m finally making the choices I want and doing the things I want.

You know what…


I deserve to be happy, to have it all, to put myself first. There are things I’ve been through, lives I’ve lived, relationships I’ve survived, and things I’ll never share with anyone. Nobody knows what another person is experiencing or where they might be in their life, or what they can or cannot take on at that moment. This is my one and only life, and my time is getting shorter and shorter. I don’t want to take life for granted. If there is something I want, I’m gonna go for it!

People, live your lives with no apology! Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are. If you feel it in your heart and bones that someone is wrong, believe it. Be happy, know you can do it all, with no apologies.




A Different Kind of Tattoo…

Oh, the planning involved for the perfect tattoo. What do I want, where should I put it, what does it mean to me and on and on and on. I have so many saved ideas of my next one, but until it’s perfectly decided it will be put on hold.

After we’ve placed that piece of permanent art on our bodies, we’re proud! We want to show it off and are glad to answer questions about what it means. Each one has a meaning, a story to go with it, it’s a symbol or personal statement.

I have 7 tattoos that were all carefully thought out, but two that I had no choice in. A two inch “permanent frown”, as I call it and another two inch “zipper”; both a result of surgery. If they were visible, I would talk about them. As with our favorite tattoos, each scar has a special meaning, a story to go with it, a lesson learned, a sign of healing and survival. Why wouldn’t you want to talk about that?


Was there pain involved? Probably, and maybe still.
Some are worse than others, in places we don’t want to look at. Hideous and embarrassing, I’ve heard it said. But why? You now have yet another marking that makes you totally unique, something you didn’t have before? Isn’t that a good thing?



As we move along in this world we accumulate all kinds of things that mar our insides and outsides. Bumps and bruises, freckles and laugh lines, friends and enemies, broken hearts and unfulfilled promises. We all have the same things, some choose to show all and others try to cover and hide. All signs of an exciting, fun filled, sometimes scary, unpredictable life that we decided to live out to the fullest.

Next time someone is staring at you and you know they want to ask what happened, just realize they want to hear a good one. Tell them, “See this? This was a doosey!” Give them your story or your words of wisdom. See if they have any, I’m sure they do. If you think they are looking at you with pity, they’re probably thinking how strong and brave you must be; a warrior for sure!


When I see someone with any kind of, I’ll call it “life induced markings” on their body, I want to hear the story. How did it happen? How did you survive? Would I be that strong? I have an admiration and sense of awe for them. I see them as those special inspirational people that were put before me to raise my game, to know if they can do it so can I.

Ask any tattoo artist how excited they are when they see some virgin skin walking in or a painter with a blank canvas. You can’t leave it that way for long, who wants to look at a blank page? Fill it up, mark it up, make it something to talk about!


Monday’s Motivation

I promise, it’s not hard!

So, what can we do today that will start our week off on the right foot?

I’m going with, making someone else smile or doing something for someone else for no reason at all! If you’ve never done this, it’s really motivating and not only makes the other person feel good, but you as well.

I know we have all heard of the standard pay it forward, random acts of kindness but let’s try to get creative and think outside of the box. Maybe we can even try to keep it up for the WHOLE week, imagine being nice for that long!

Here are some ideas to get you going:

  • On your daily Dunkin’ Donuts run, instead of paying for the car behind you (which you certainly can do), order a box of Munchins and tell the window to give them to the car behind you (Starbucks fans, you spend how much for a coffee? Add a cake pop and do the same).
  • Buy a few candy bars and put them on your co-workers desks, leave a nice note, or not. If you can watch discreetly, it’s so much fun to see the confusion.
  • Send some kind of a gift card, any denomination to someone enclosed in a beautiful or encouraging card.
  • Tape a dollar or two to a vending machine with a note to enjoy a free treat or drink.
  • Send flowers, fruit basket or cookiegram to someone for no reason at all.
  • Put a note on someone’s desk about their great outfit, hair, makeup…
  • Say something really nice to someone about someone else (who could quite possibly be listening).

If you really want to challenge yourself, pick an act of kindness to use on someone you really don’t care for, or a complete stranger!


Please share any good ideas you have or the outcome of your random acts of kindness!

When You Think You’ve Got It Bad…

Think again

We all have them, those days when everything sucks…

You just don’t look good,
your clothes don’t fit right,
you hate your job, your family and yourself;
and to top it off, you have no money!

Getting out of that funk can be really difficult, especially when it seems never ending. You’re tired, fed up, discouraged and generally, just DONE!

You tell yourself the same things over and over or others tell you…

“This will get better”
“You’re just having a bad day (week, month or year)”
“It could always be worse”

My go to has always been, “It could always be worse”, think about it – couldn’t it?

Michelle Knight

  • Bullied/assaulted in school.
  • Drops out of school after she gets pregnant.
  • Her child gets taken away and put into foster care.
  • At 21 she is kidnapped.
  • After a year she is taken off the missing persons list, so nobody is looking for her.
  • Tortured and sexually abused for eleven years.
  • As a result of starvation and extreme beatings, she suffered 5 miscarriages, loss of vision and nerve damage.

This is one strong and amazing woman! She endured and stayed positive and did what she had to do to survive. She helped to keep the other victims (Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus) alive and gave them hope and strength to keep going until they were rescued!

This is who I think of when I think things are bad or I’m feeling sorry for myself. She wasn’t a famous superstar, she was just a regular girl trying to get along in this world like the rest of us.

I constantly see women fight through impossible situations and never give up. As a woman, this makes me so proud to know how strong, stubborn and smart we can be. We can fight through anything and survive, often times coming out better than we were.

Who are the women that inspire you?

Look around and I bet you can think of at least 5 in your own inner circle.

My proposal as a national symbol for Women


Some other awe inspiring women below – If you aren’t familiar with them, look them up and read their stories. Imagine yourself in their place, would you fight and hang on and persevere and do what it took to survive?

Of course you would…

You’re a woman, nothing can stop us!

Liz Murray – Parents were drug addicts and eventually died from AIDS.  At 15 became homeless, but despite all of her hardships she attended Harvard University and today is a very successful inspirational speaker.

Helen Keller – At 19 months old contracted an illness that left her deaf and blind. Come on, I can’t even…

Elizabeth Smart – Abducted at age 14.  Raped, tortured and threatened with death for 9 months. She is now an American Activist and a missing persons commentator for ABC News.

And so many others…